Secondary Infertility Affects at Least Six Million People in U.S.
Karina Erdelyi
“Those with secondary infertility are always grateful that they have a child(ren) at home, but when they begin their attempts at becoming pregnant again, they have the expectation that they will be able to add to their family without a problem,” said Dr. John J. Rapisarda, a partner of the Chicago-based Fertility Centers of Illinois. “When this doesn’t happen, it can lead to…a feeling of guilt that they might have waited too long, or done something else to cause their secondary inability to conceive.”
| Some parents may even feel guilty that they’ve let their child(ren) down by depriving them of a future sibling.
“The pain of women who can’t have additional children shouldn’t be dismissed, said Dr. Catherine Birndorf, a reproductive psychiatrist in New York City: “If your narrative is ‘I come from four kids and I wanted three kids,’ you may feel as much pain as someone who’s never had a child.”Because they already have a child or children, those experiencing secondary infertility often receive less understanding and empathy for their infertility journey. Compared to couples who are childless, they are often expected to be grateful for what they already have and stop complaining about their inability to expand their family.According to Marie Davidson, Ph.D., a psychologist at Fertility Centers of Illinois, “Parents with secondary infertility don’t often get much sympathy, so they end up feeling as though they don’t have a right to be sad.”However, the pain and longing are all too real. How can healthcare providers help?Primary care professionals can encourage their patients with suspected secondary infertility to seek specialized medical advice. Referral can either be to the female patient’s Ob/Gyn or to a fertility specialist, such as a reproductive endocrinologist. Since age plays such a significant role, it is important to be proactive.For emotional support and to develop coping skills, healthcare providers can recommend their patients visit The National Infertility Association’s RESOLVE website and identify local support groups. Couples may also want to consider professional counseling to work through their emotions and revise expectations.
